the lore of my new single, Bareback on the Motherfcking Plains 🧠🐎

some goog backstory written live from vacay !!!!!!

Hiiii everyone! I’m writing/editing this from a chilly hotel room in San Diego watching Big Brother with my family. Been on vacation with them the last few days and it’s been so nice to take a breather. I haven’t really paused since January… but then again, my brand new single is out now, so am I really pausing now? :’)

Thought it would be a good time to get you all up to speed now that it’s yours... Let’s dive in 🌟

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rewinnnnnnd……..
It’s a cool night early in the year. I’m a little high, doom-scrolling instagram from my bed, and I swipe past by the worst case scenario: __________ (fill in the blank with an unexpected personal ache of your choosing. Possibly the classic “ex falling in love with someone new” for ease of metaphor. I’ll keep my own particular truth private for once. 🌷) Immediately, my body pulls the plug on my prefrontal cortex. Logic and reason? Out the window. I’m hit with the “what-is-even-happening-right-now” and “why-am-I-viscerally-reacting-to-this-I-thought-for-sure-I-was-not-gonna-feel-this-way-at-all-I’m-so-annoyed?”

You know those moments when you shouldn’t be upset, but you’re at the mercy of the feeling?

I didn’t really have right to be hurt - it quite literally had nothing to do with me at all. But I still was. I stared at the picture and watched it morph into a tangible symbol of my least likeable qualities… I was collecting and creating evidence to build a case against myself. “It is what it is” was not a sufficient thought. The thesis of: “Yes, you are on somehow both at fault and unlovable” was muuuuuuuuch more satisfying. :’)

It’s one of the bittersweet things about being human: we are hardwired for story. Good guy, bad guy. Beginning, middle, end. The idea of a simple story is so delicious to us, we reduce nuanced situations to fit into one neatly. If there was a narrative I could understand, then maybe there was a narrative I could course correct. Like maybe if I added a spoonful of sugar, I could be everyone’s cup of tea. I could feel my brain riding off into the distance without me

^ this was me ^

So, I saw that post. I panicked. I cried a little.
And then I wrote Bareback. :)

The song was one of those that fell out of me line by line, like dominoes hitting the next sequentially. The line "there's something there to tame" came first and led the metaphor. It bred the visual of this wild, free, uncontrollable thing - and solidified the oddness of that "thing" being my own brain. I remember being a little puffy and laughing as I wrote “bareback on the motherfucking plains.” Sometimes we find the songs, and sometimes they find us…

It’s uncomfortable to be your own adversary. To be your own enemy. You know exactly where to hit yourself, almost like your weak spots glow and pulse with light screaming “Right here for maximum pain!!” And sometimes, when I get there, I have to make peace with the fact that there is no way out but through. Bareback is about that moment.

So excited it’s yours... our everywhere now. 💓🌟 🌷🦋🌱🌪️🌧️🌊🌫️ Lots more to share, so stay tuned

You can listen by clicking here. :)

xoxoxoxoxoxox,

gooooooooogy girl